Always
by katwithlove
Summary: Major Spoilers & Canon Compliant. Daryl's reaction after seeing Beth. One-shot. Do not read unless up to date with all of the walking dead.


Always  
_Spoilers Ahead. Do not go past this point if you have not seen the show please._

They were sat at an old shack just on the inside of the woods, no walkers around and the dark had crept up on them.

"I'll be gone someday, and you'll be the last man standing, Dixon," she smiled at him. The way her eyes sparkled, it lit up the whole night sky. He didn't understand why he felt like this, but he felt it whole heartedly.

"Nah—don't be sayin' that," he whispered into the night air. She let out a beautiful melodic laugh and placed her mason jar on the porch.

"You're gonna miss me when I'm gone, understand that Dixon?" she asked him. She was only slightly tipsy from her first indulgence with alcohol. He didn't want her to ever get drunk, but this was just something she had to do. If she was going too then he preferred that it was with him. He drank, but he knew that he could hold his alcohol.

The pregnant silence in the air hung between them. He didn't know what to say to that—he wanted to tell her that he knew he'd miss her. He'd lost Merle and there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think of his brother. From the moment she had yelled at him and hugged him despite everything, he felt a strange feeling in his stomach.

"We're going to burn it down," she said out of nowhere. She had such defiance in her voice that he didn't question him.

They stood outside of the burning shack and she forced his middle finger up. She was the push to him becoming a real man. He was allowed to be loved and allowed to feel it. This was his permission to forget about how bad he and Merle messed up before the ZA. This was the only permission that he needed to try and be a better man than his pa was.

"Us against the world," he told her jokingly. Beth gave him a small smile and nodded before taking his hand in hers and they ran.

~o~

_No. Anything but this, not her—dear god just anyone but her_, the thoughts that plagued his head as he saw her fall to the ground. He felt Carol move behind him but shrugged her off, if only he had done something different. He badgered himself internally before pulling out his gun.

On instinct he stepped forward and brought the gun up before Rick could make a move, and the last shot for the hour rang through the air. Dawn dropped to the ground in her own puddle of blood. He couldn't move and he couldn't stand any further. He sank down to his knees; his jeans would never be cleansed from the girl's blood. He should've saved her—he could've. He shouldn't have left her.

He fought with himself as the tears leaked from his eyes. How could this be?

Gently, he picked up her fragile little body. She was something incredible and he was blessed. Without a second thought he buried his face in her hair and cried in the middle of the corridor. He broke down without care, if anyone wanted to kill him now—he wouldn't mind.

The tears flowed freely down his face and he pushed her blonde hair away so he could see her properly. She was still a beautiful angel—a beacon of light for him to follow. He wanted to be the man she deserved, the man she would have wanted him to be.

His lips trembled and his hands shook as he cupped her face.

"Beth—I—you…"

"Daryl, we gotta go…" Rick put his hand on Daryl's shoulder and he violently shrugged it off. When they tried to pull her body from him he screamed for them to step back. With everything in him he put his crossbow over his back and picked her limp body up.

He wordlessly carried out her body, he was almost last in line to leave, it was like a funeral precession and he was the hearse.

Daryl couldn't look up when he heard Maggie's gasps and screams. He couldn't face her when she tried to cradle her baby sister's head in her hands. He couldn't face the stares that he had got from the rest of the group—they wouldn't understand…couldn't understand.

He kept her close to his body and kept walking, he didn't know what too but he would walk for forever with her.

~o~

The funeral was small and filled with tears and words of regret. He couldn't say anything but sat near her grave—he couldn't let go. He wouldn't move, and he had yet to say any of his goodbyes. He couldn't say goodbye to someone who wasn't dead to him.

It was a few days later when he finally let it out. He threw his crossbow across the field and stormed over to her grave.

"Fucking hell Greene—you were supposed to live! What did I teach ye? You saved yourself, I had faith in you—_I_ had faith in you," he ranted on and stared at the dirt of her grave, still disturbed soil. The breakdown was too much and he fell to his knees.

"I almost believed in god—I almost gave a damn. I carried ye when your ankle was gone and I carried ye into our new life. I can't carry you out," he hissed at the air. He was talking like a crazy person, maybe this was what Rick was feeling when Lori died. If it was even partial of what Rick felt; he had surely misjudged Grimes.

"I'm sorry girly—I couldn't. I wanted to protect ye—I lo—you're my girl," he settled for that.

"You were right, I miss you…" he let the words hang in the air. A small breeze swept across the grave and he swore he could almost hear her sweet singing once again. He swore he heard her voice get louder and he stood up quickly and looked around the clearing. It was like Merle all over again, he kept turning and looking for the sound until it stopped and warmth spread around him.

He leaned down and sniffed, adjusting the small cross on the grave.

"Always girly," he whispered.

He turned from the grave, and adjusted the shoelace that was taken from her boot around his wrist. Michonne had taken the lace while no one was paying attention and created a small bracelet for him to wear, too remember her. She had one of Andrea's around hers as well. You got to still live on as long as someone remembered you.

Daryl would keep living. He couldn't let her be wrong—he would be the last man standing if it killed him and by then he knew he'd wish for death. He'd live because he wanted to keep her alive too. To him—she was alive and she was just waiting for him to meet up with her.

Death is the equalizer and the final destination. He just had to keep her waiting a bit longer. It would only be a bit longer.

* * *

**I'm so mad at the writers. They were sitting on the gold mine of beautiful characters that should live and would have brought a realistic sense to the world. I don't want all blood and gore. I want friendships and love too because what is this show really about then? Just everyone dies. The humanity from the show is slipping and now without Beth...I just. She was soo much more then having her being shipped with Daryl. She showed us that we were still allowed to be human even after something as horrific as an apocalypse. **

**K  
XXX**


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